| | Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes |  |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
 |  Subject: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes  Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:49 pm | |
| Think its about time you think?
Heres my first one...
"Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML" | |
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JOEinSD
Regular Poster
Number of posts : 487
Age : 37
Location : San Diego
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:00 pm | |
| Something about a guy having sex with his gf and his mom walks in on them. She says, "Oh sorry, I'll just wait outside. It won't take long anyway." | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:01 pm | |
| ohhhhhh! hahahaha! OWNED!
"Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML" | |
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[]\//\[\]
Super Poster
![[]\//\[\]](https://2img.net/u/3215/35/31/58/avatars/11-59.jpg)
Number of posts : 1628
Age : 36
Location : Them Grimey Streets of Orange County
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:13 pm | |
| im mexican but i look white. eff my life | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:16 pm | |
| - []\//\[\] wrote:
- im mexican but i look white. eff my life
Geez.  | |
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omarsxb951
Post Master
Number of posts : 6821
Age : 45
Location : Riverside
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:36 pm | |
| "Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob"
haha | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:39 pm | |
| ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL!!!!^^^ | |
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omarsxb951
Post Master
Number of posts : 6821
Age : 45
Location : Riverside
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:42 pm | |
| Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML | |
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omarsxb951
Post Master
Number of posts : 6821
Age : 45
Location : Riverside
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:44 pm | |
| Talk about JIMP
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:50 pm | |
| Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:53 pm | |
| Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML | |
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omarsxb951
Post Master
Number of posts : 6821
Age : 45
Location : Riverside
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:54 pm | |
| Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML | |
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dasiknes803
Super Poster
Number of posts : 4003
Age : 42
Location : San Diego (West Bernardo)
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:56 pm | |
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AO
Frequent Poster
Number of posts : 1286
Age : 37
Location : fontuckey
| | Subject: Re: Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:00 am | |
| i cant even put a favorite, they're all pretty much classic. i doubt many of these are even true lol | |
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| | Your Favorite FMylife.com quotes | |
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